The Feylands Giveaway

08/29/2013

7 Comments

 
Thanks much to Kathy, she'll be giving away a copy of The Feylands. Enter here for a chance at winning: I Am A Reader Not A Writer


 

Author Interview: Peter Meredith

08/27/2013

3 Comments

 
If you could work with any other author, who would it be and why?
If the option included deceased authors as well I'd choose I'd Harper Lee who
wrote To Kill a Mockingbird. Not only was that masterpiece her debut novel, it was her only novel. She was
clearly gifted with genius level raw talent, while I am gifted with the ability
to shamelessly attach my name to hers! It would be a perfect pairing.
 
When and where do you write?
I write first thing in the morning. I get up early while my wife sleeps in. Later
I head off to a favorite Italian restaurant here in Denver and write through two
whiskey sours and a plate of carbonara
 
What is the hardest part of the writing for you?
Promotional work. I'm not one of those who claim to write for the sake of
writing, but book signings, readings, and schlepping your work all over the
place gets old very quickly. 

When and why did you first start writing?
Unlike almost every other author I've run across, I wasn't reading at the age of
two and writing my first poem by my third birthday. Quite the opposite, I hated
to write. I never learned to type and my penmanship hasn't progressed beyond a
second grade level. Since I would fret over every little error, an e-mail used
to take me close on an hour to write, if the client was important enough.

But that all changed in 2010. With the economy in the dumps, my company decided
to rework our website and in order to attract attention to it, I was told I
should write articles and submit them online. So I painstakingly wrote five
articles. They were terrible.

Not terribly written, just dull. Writing about the technical aspects of LED
lights is super boring and not just to me but for everyone. So with Halloween
coming up, I decided to write about the two super-natural occurrences that I
had been involved with instead. The boss wasn't exactly happy, but seeing as
she's my wife, what could she do?


So I wrote two little short stories. Just like that, something kicked in.
Suddenly I became a writer. It was altogether inexplicable to go from writing
as little as possible to writing all the time. Without any classes or real
training, I wrote a book, and then a trilogy, and in October I will begin work
on my twelfth novel. Life is strange, but great.

 
How did you come up with the idea for the book?
The original idea for Sprite came about because I wanted to add to my collection of horror short stories. The only
problems was that main character, Audrey(Odd) wouldn't contain herself. She grew
so out of control that the short story stretched to a novella and then to a
novel. As well she completely jettisoned the idea of horror. Her story is that
of a girl in search of the least love and at times it felt as if I wasn't the
one writing, Odd was.
 
Are you a big reader? If so, what are you reading now? Gerald's
Game by Stephen King. So far, I wouldn't recommend it. The main character's
voice is jarringly unfeminine. It's not that she's butch or a tom-boy, it's just
that if a few words were substituted, the reader would easily believe the
character is a man. Also it's over-written. As an example, the main character is
chained to a bed and she spends 11 pages trying to get a glass of water from a
shelf. After awhile I didn't really care if she got the water or not. (note: I'm
only 92 pages in and it might get better. Fingers crossed.)

 
Do you have any advice for other aspiring writers?
Stay in school. Don't give up on your dreams. Reach for the stars. And
definitely memorize as many platitudes as you can before giving interviews.
Truthfully, I'm full of advice specific to indie publishing or writing and don't
mind answering questions. I can be messaged at Goodreads or will reply to blog
comments.

Thanks to Debra at Debra's Book Blog. Read it here: http://debrasbookcafe.blogspot.com/
 

Twilight...Did I Just Read That?

08/10/2013

5 Comments

 
Is it possible for someone to like both Twilight and Pride and Prejudice? I ask because I feel as though I'm about to get kicked in the literary nards again. The last time I stepped on a chick-lit favorite, Jane Austen's dull, but well
written "romance", I was described as someone who lacks the will to understand, and that was one of the more flattering comments! So you can see why I'm a little hesitant reviewing Twilight.
"Did you just call Pride and Prejudice dull?"

"Hate"
Here's my problem with Stephenie Meyer's debut novel, Twilight reads just like a 
novel written by a pre-teen, only without any evidence of editing. Tenses are mixed and the characters are shallow. The book can best be described as choppy and that's
being nice. Half the time the emotional state of Bella is incongruent to the
scene she is in. It's as if Meyer kept a hat near her computer and pulled from it
scraps of paper with the words mopey, or angry, or depressed, written on them.

It's rainy, let's see what the hat says Bella should feel...hmm...hate. "I hate
anything that's wet."
What a great line. I wonder how long it took her to think up that one.
Unfortunately, there are more that are even worse: "The room was familiar; it had been
belonged
to me since I was born."
 Been belonged? What the hell is that? 
 
Here's another line that I just had to read over and over, wondering how it made it into the book: "Through
their noses, all their features, were straight, perfect, angular."

Through their noses???? I'm clueless what that's supposed to mean.
And, what's, with, all, the, commas,?

And then there are the endless repetitious 'perfect' descriptions of Edward: His perfect golden eyes smoldered heatedly out
from his flawless and perfect brow so that the ocher perfectly singed me with their perfection and heat--I exaggerate, but only barely.
It makes me wonder how this became a New York Times Editor's choice. Or how on earth it could be described as "The best book of the Year" by Publisher's Weekly? I can only surmise that there weren't any other books written that year.
If you think this is impressive, ladies, you should see what I got going on down below!
I just don't get it. It is a complete mystery how someone can become a millionaire writing like this. Maybe I should not start stopping, practicing to write weller than I does. 

I could be famous too.


No, not gay at all
PS Can anyone tell me why girls fall for Edward when it's obvious he's gay. Let's look at the facts as presented by the book: He's a smart dresser. He's neat and trim. He sparkles, smells fruity, and has a musical voice...la, la, la, la. Clearly he's not just gay, but flaming, feather boa wearing, "I'm a dancer" gay. (Not that there's anything wrong with that--it's just an observation.)


PPS Even more of a question is how anyone can like Bella? She can't walk to the bathroom without fear of falling in the
toilet--trust me when I say it's not an endearing trait. She's annoyingly condescending to everyone. To call her moody is a joke. She's bi-polar with a side-order of mania. In the space of a minute she can be laughing, glaring angrily and crying. Yet all the boys want her. I get that Edward is using her as "cover" but the rest of them? It stretches even the limits of fiction.
                                                                            Uh, Bella? That's not a door.
 

Free Books!

08/05/2013

4 Comments

 
For those of you who are members in good standing of Goodreads (a site dedicated to book lovers and animal conformists),
I'll be giving away two free copies of The Horror of the Shade. Please enter
before August 2nd. For those of you who are not members I'll be giving away novels on Amazon.com in exchange for money.

May the odds be ever in your favor.*


 *This is not an endorsement of the Hunger Games--which I enjoyed.

 **Mocking Jay sucked butt in the worst possible way

 ***Click on the picture to go to the Enter to Win page...That is all


 

The Playbook, How to Pick Up Chicks in 75 Easy to Follow Steps

08/02/2013

1 Comment

 
I first came upon The Playbook, by Barney Stinson in the humor section of my local book store, which  upon reflection was obviously a titanic mistake. This is not a funny book. No, not at all. The Playbook is pure enlightenment. It's wisdom is Ghandi-esque. It's what everyman has ever looked for. It's a proven step by step guide on how to score with chicks...I mean women. It's results are nothing short of astounding.

Don't  believe me?
Here is a picture of a typical girl I dated before reading The Playbook. We will call her Phillis:

*Though the author is sexually potent (considered a veritable dynamo by some) Phillis is
not actually pregnant in this picture. And no, I won't take another paternity
test, Phil. My limit is four a year. Besides, you've been "Pregnant" for 13 months now; the charade is over, give it up.

And here is the woman I've been seeing after reading The Playbook:
* Editors note: Yowza!!

Can you see the difference? It's slight but it's there.
Now some of you may be thinking that I pulled this picture at random from 
www.fakeGirlfriends.com but I do not lie.

Here is proof of carnal knowledge of said woman:
*Actual children that I helped create.

If The Playbook can work for me, then it can work for you too.

*Unauthorized picture of the author...it was a bad hair day.

 

Review: The Snows Of Kilimamjaro

08/01/2013

2 Comments

 
I don't like to continually bash famous authors. I worry that it might make me
look as though I'm just jealous, when really I am. That being said, there isn't
much to The Snows of Kilimanjaro to make it worthy of a recommendation. These stories by Hemmingway feel as though each had been pulled at random from a longer story--as if there was something I had missed earlier and, in eight out of ten of the stories, as if there was
definitely something I was going to miss later, by which I mean to say that I
felt left up in the air. At the conclusion of each I kept asking myself, "Is
that it?"

Perhaps  what was worse was how he wrote conversations. They were annoyingly repetitive
with characters saying the same line over and over again in rather short conversations.
Here is an example:

When offered alcohol the 'thin one' says--"Thanks no. It mounts to my head."--half a page later when there's a
second round--"Not me. It mounts to my head." On the next page he adds, just in case you missed it the first two times,
 "It is alcohol that mounts to my head." and on the next page, after a number of lines that are so meaningless as to be
 absolutely chalk full of hidden meaning that only literature professors could interpret, he reminds us, "I can't take it. It goes right to my head." I get the feeling he's not into alcohol. It's subtle, but it's there.

Here's a line that is so repetitive all by itself that nothing can save it: "No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
I'm going right down to the church to pray." That was seven Nos! All in response to an invitation to listen to a football game on the radio. I would have to work very, very, very, very, very, very, very hard to write so badlier as this. (You see? It's not easy.)

Now  for the only thing I actually liked about the book. The smell. The copy I read was over fifty years old and the musty aroma brought back memories of shabby little book shops I used to frequent as a teen in New York City. You'd see a
sign that only read "Books" and through the door with its little bell above, there would be stacks as high as the ceiling and shelves where the word unkempt wouldn't do to describe. I always went with Unruly, as if the thousands of stories fought to be seen and read. 
 
In these shops, it seemed alphabetizing was seen as a sign of weakness and the only order came from the endless war between truth and make believe. For me, always make believe won out, and how could it not? Where can truth ever compete with imagination? It can't...except for maybe when it comes to the sense of smell. The smell of that book, that was truth, it's one redeeming truth.